Washington, DC area picnic and discussion for Mormon May Day. It was wonderful to share our sincere testimonies and meet together to break the fast.

“That is our doctrine—a doctrine of inclusion. That is what we believe. That is what we have been taught. Of all people on this earth, we should be the most loving, the kindest, and the most tolerant because of that doctrine.” – Russell Ballard, General Conference Oct. 2001

Today I read a book by Dom Hélder Pessoa Câmara, who was a Roman Catholic Archbishop in Brazil. He is famous for the above line, and for trying to fight the root causes of poverty.

The entire book, The Spiral of Violence, (more like a long pamphlet) is available in pdf form here.

Read it today.

He addresses the three types of violence that contribute to this spiral of violence:

1. Violence of Poverty
2. Violence of Revolt
3. Violence of Repression

He says: “the only true answer to violence is to have the courage to face the injustices which constitute violence No. 1 [poverty].”

“It is only through justice that a true and lasting peace will be achieved… Within his own religion, each person will discover the necessary impulse to give himself entirely to justice as a condition of peace.”

“Whatever your religion, try to demand that, instead of separating men, it helps to unite them…In the teachings of your faith, what are the principles, the directives which call for justice and peace?…Beyond the barriers let us unite! If existing minorities – and there are minorities within all…religions- can come together in Action for Justice and Peace, we shall have the right to hope.”

“Do you think you are alone? Look around you. Talk to your friends. Talk to people in your house, in your neighborhood, at your school, at your work, with your leisure companions…Leave no one indifferent around you. Provoke discussion. Your youth must force people to think and take up a position: let it be uncomfortable, like truth, demanding, like justice.”

“The time has come when each religion must rediscover, in its sacred texts, the truths capable of encouraging the human development of the outcasts of the modern world and of arousing the consciences of the rich…each religion must leave its own mark on the movement”

“We are hundreds of years behind, and all of us bear direct responsibility for the sin of omission.”

He is just an awesome man with a welcome message:

“We recently finished construction on our new home, a process that took three-and-a-half years.  (For those of you who are contemplating, or who will contemplate building your own homes, I strongly urge you to lie down until the urge passes.)  Although the process was long, tedious, exhausting and expensive, I learned a few lessons along the way—aside from the obvious one of not taking on such a task again.
Because of the nature of our home, which is supposed to look several hundred years old, it was necessary that I do some of the cabinetwork myself, drawing on skills I learned in an apprenticeship over three decades earlier.  Some of that work involved turning rough-sawn black walnut lumber into finished cabinetry, and that process provided me with the kernel of my sermon today.
I am going to show you two pieces of black walnut.  The first is from what is called a “forest tree,” which is a tree that has grown in the midst of many other trees.  In order to compete for sunlight, it must grow up rather than out, resulting in a long, straight trunk with no branches.  Because there are no branches, the wood has a regular, even grain that is apparent even on the rough-sawn side.  When it is planed and finished, the straightness of the grain is even more apparent.  A cabinetmaker making a chair loves this kind of wood, because the straight, predictable grain will provide strength to the arms or legs of the chair.
The second piece of black walnut comes from what is called a “yard tree,” which is a tree that grows alone in a yard.  Because there are no other trees surrounding it and competing for sunlight, it can send branches out in every direction.  If you are a child and this kind of tree is in your yard, you will love to climb it, because its branches are low enough to reach; and to swing on it, because the lower branches are strong and parallel to the ground, ideal for attaching a swing.
Because a yard tree has many branches at random heights, the lumber from it has an unpredictable grain.  If you look at the rough-sawn side of a piece of wood from a yard tree, it does not appear to be anywhere near as desirable as the piece from a forest tree.  In fact, it looks downright ugly.  However, an expert craftsman can see through the rough exterior, and recognizes in this piece of wood the makings of a masterpiece.  When it is properly planed and finished, its beauty jumps out.
OK, so where is the sermon?  It is this: both pieces of wood are from the same species of tree.  Their DNA is identical.  Where the trees were planted, and not their DNA, determined the characteristics that their wood would eventually have.  Either tree, planted in the opposite conditions, would have taken on a completely different character.
So it is with us.  We are all of the same species of DNA.  We are children of the same God.  Nonetheless, the circumstances under which we are planted and nurtured, none of which are under our own control, largely determine the appearance of our wood.
Most of our church consists of forest trees: uniform and predictable.  There is nothing wrong with this kind of tree.  In fact, a certain amount of its kind of wood is necessary to build a church.  But if the entire church is built of it, it becomes bland, uninteresting, even boring.  Yard trees give beauty, character, even spice to the building, even though they are less suitable for some other functions.
I speak from first-hand experience, for I am a yard tree.  My self-awareness did not begin to become apparent until I entered graduate school following my mission.  Until that time, I was very conventional.  But that time was the 60’s, and the place was UCLA.  If you want to know more about the University of California in the 60’s, ask your bishop.  My DNA did not change, but the post-transcriptional and post-translational processing—and those of you who have had a basic course in molecular biology will know exactly what I am saying—resulted in branches and grains that are certainly not uniform and predictable, and that will always define me as different, in a church that has a long tradition of not celebrating differences.  Please indulge me while I give you several personal examples.
My career path, which began with the assumption that I would be practicing family dentistry for my entire career, took an unexpected twist that led me into a career in experimental biology, a discipline that demands unending questioning and experimentation that do not stop at the laboratory door.  These attributes are not common in this church.  As I have looked around over the past four decades for LDS role models in experimental biology, I see very few players, and fewer yet who have excelled in their field.  I spoke with the two most distinguished players: Bill Rutter, a member of the National Academy of Sciences and founder of Chiron, Inc.; and Paul Boyer, the only Latter-day Saint ever to win a Nobel Prize.  Both described themselves to me as atheists who have not entered a church building in decades.  They were yard trees in a church of forest trees, and after speaking with both of them, I came away with the impression that they could still have been in the fold, had we treated them differently along the way.
Questioning and experimentation followed me into the job of Elders Quorum President, and from there to an 8-year journey of examining, in a way that had not previously been done, the very essence and structure of priesthood—a journey that resulted in an entire book on the subject.  But the book is a yard tree, and it has not pleased some of the forest trees.
JaLynn and I, together, became yard trees, for we were childless for the first 11 years of our marriage, though not by choice.  Being childless in a ward with a gigantic Primary is not the way to fit in.  We heard much about the “ideal family,” and we were not it.  Not once from the pulpit did we hear an uplifting message directed to childless parents.  We were yard trees in a forest-tree ward.
Several years after our third child was born, we received the devastating diagnosis from his physicians that he was autistic.  He is now 18 years old, and provides us with continual challenges and blessings.  Not once during those 18 years have we heard a message from the pulpit, either in our chapel or from church headquarters, that deals directly with Madison’s special needs, or with our special needs as his parents.  Once again we found ourselves yard trees in a forest-tree church.
I could give you other examples from my own life experience, but I think you get the message.  Even though we are all made of the same DNA, some of us, through no fault or choice of our own, develop into yard trees, in a forest-tree church.  In some instances, because the carpenter can’t see beyond the end of his tape measure, yard trees gets marginalized, even discarded.  In other instances, yard trees decide for themselves that they don’t fit in the lumberyard, and leave.  In both cases, the result is a tragedy that makes the Church weaker, and our Father in Heaven sadder.
Do you recall the words of St. Paul, when he wrote to the saints in Corinth?  Let me read them to you, and as I read, think of forest trees and yard trees:
For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many are one body; so also is Christ.
For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free—[and, I would add, whether we be yard trees or forest trees] ; and have been all made to drink into one Spirit.
For the body is not one member, but many.
If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?
And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?
Let me pause here for a moment.  Is this not exactly what I was saying a few moments ago, about the yard tree saying to itself, “Because I am not a forest tree, I will leave the lumberyard”?  To continue with the words of St. Paul:
If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing?  If the whole were hearing, where were the smelling?
But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him.
And if they were all one member, where were the body?
But now are they many members, yet but one body.
And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee; nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you.
Let me pause again.  Is this not exactly what I was saying a few moments ago about the forest trees, which is the more abundant species in the Church, saying to the yard trees, “We have no need of you”?  Furthermore, he says that the body can’t consist solely of forest trees.  Again I return to the words of St. Paul:
Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary;
And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness.
Let me pause once more.  Is this not what I was saying earlier, that the piece of yard-tree wood that the carpenter might want to reject, because it appears to his untrained eye to be ugly and useless, actually becomes the basis of a masterpiece, once it gets into the hands of a master craftsman?  Again, the words of St. Paul:
For our comely parts have no need; but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked;
That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another.  [I Cor. 12:12-25]
Now, you can take the phrase “members of the body” in any direction you wish.  There is probably not a person in this room, including myself, who does not have at least one “member” that, in her or his opinion, is not necessary or comely to the body, or that others in the Church may not criticize or ostracize.  I have already described several of my own, and it is possible that I could compile an autobiographical list that would exceed yours.  But that list is not the important one.  What is important—what is crucial, in fact—is that our DNA places us here, as part of the body of Christ.  Some parts seem less attractive—although exercise discretion here, because Paul warned us that those which “seem to be more feeble, are necessary”—but none should say to itself, “I do not belong here,” nor should any be told by someone else, “You do not belong here.”  You do belong here, you are part of the body of Christ, and nobody, including yourself, should be allowed to plant seeds of doubt in your mind.
Will you permit me to get personal for a few moments?
•    You are single in what many of you perceive to be a married church.  Twenty-seven years ago I was called to be a counselor in the bishopric of the first singles’ ward in the Washington, DC Stake, so I have at least a bit of first-hand knowledge of this arena.  There may be little control that you have over your status, which may depend on where you were planted—a yard tree—or how you are wired.  I cannot promise you when or if your marital status will change, or that there is any quick fix for loneliness or perceived lack of fulfillment.  But I can tell you that half of the households in this church—let me repeat that—HALF of the households in this church are headed by single adults.  I also can tell you that some of the most beautiful yard trees in the Church fall into this category.  Do not hide your wood, and by all means do not leave the lumberyard.  Let your wood shine.  If you do so, you will stand out as an object of beauty, not of oddity, and you will find that there is a productive and fulfilling place in the Church for you.
•    Perhaps you are not on the rung of the career ladder that you hoped to attain at this phase of your lives.  Perhaps your peers are already on higher rungs.  Recognize that not all are eyes, or ears, or feet, or any other given part of the body of Christ or of the body of society.  Search your soul—and your Patriarchal Blessing—and discover yourself, and then be passionate about being the best self you can be.  For the past three years I have been invited to speak to the doctorate students at Penn State Medical College.  I will not forget a one-on-one session with one student, in his late 30’s, who was well into his dissertation research.  Sensing that I would understand his plight, he opened up to me and said that he had spent several years as a laboratory technician prior to being talked into a doctorate program by his wife.  “I loved being a technician,” he said, “but I’m miserable being a graduate student.  And I don’t really want to have the pressures of running my own laboratory.”  In so many words, he was asking my permission to go back to where his passions lay, and abandon graduate school.  I did not hesitate to give him the permission that really needed to come only from himself.  I think I got there in time.  J. Reuben Clark, Jr., who served as a counselor in the First Presidency for 27 years, said that in the Church, it was not where you served but how.  The same saying applies to our everyday lives.
•    Perhaps you see the gospel from a different vantage point than those who surround you in your worship services.  Perhaps you have doubts.  If so, come and sit on the bench with me and we’ll share our doubts.  But don’t try to suppress or deny them, or they’ll come back with a vengeance that you may not be able to control.  And don’t apologize or feel guilty for having them.  Doubt and faith are two sides of the same coin, and a healthy interplay between them makes for a healthy spiritual life.  Winston Churchill warned his troops not to do anything that would “frighten the horses,” so be responsible in vocalizing your doubts in a public setting.  But the way to deal with them is to deal with them, and there are plenty around you who can help you to do so.  David O. McKay, whose name may sound familiar to you, was a pretty good doubter in his day.  To a missionary who wanted to come home from his mission because he doubted, he wrote: “Over fifty years ago, when I was about to leave for my first mission, an agnostic friend said to me, among other things: ‘David, teach only that which you feel to be true—things about which you are in doubt, keep to yourself until your doubt is removed.’  Following that injunction, I went from what was known to what was unknown with respect to doctrine and Church policies, and today, believe me, doubts that shook me as a young man, as doubts are now shaking you, became as clear as Thomas’s assurance of the resurrection of the Savior when he said, ‘My Lord and my God.’”  Hugh B. Brown, who served as a counselor to President McKay for a decade, told students at a BYU devotional: “We are not so much concerned, now, whether your thoughts are orthodox or heterodox as we are that you shall have thoughts.”
I could go on with a lengthier list, but I think you can get the point.  There isn’t a person here who cannot be something great, but there isn’t a person here who can be everything great.  If you are a yard tree, don’t expect someone to make a chair out of you, because the grain of your wood won’t support one.  Neither, however, is the straight grain that works for chair legs suitable for making a masterpiece armoire.  For that, you need a yard tree.
I close with the true story of David O. McKay, serving at the time as a discouraged, young missionary in a Scotland that was hostile to his message.  I give it to you verbatim as he gave it a lapsed Mormon who also doubted, his close friend and former world heavyweight boxing champion Jack Dempsey:
I had become discouraged and homesick one day. Among other things, a Scotch woman had said to me as I handed her a tract: “Ye better gae hame; ye canna have any o’oor lassies!” Well I did not want any of their lassies; I had left a sweet one at home, but it made me discouraged to think of the ill-will which these people had toward the Mormons. . . . We had been assigned to Stirling, that historic town of which we read in the “Lady of the Lake” where James Fitz James won the championship, and James of Scotland had his dogs and his orchards to keep. Well, I was very interested in these things. We had just been on a tour of old Stirling Castle, and it was afternoon when we left that historic site and started out east of town. . . . As we were coming back into town, I saw on my right an unfinished dwelling, over the front door of which was a stone on which there was some carving. That was most unusual, so I said to Elder Johnston: “I’m going to see what that is.” I was half way up the graveled walk when there came to my eyesight a striking motto carved in stone–it read “WHATE’ER THOU ART, ACT WELL THY PART.” I repeated it to Elder Johnston as we walked in to town to find a place for our lodging before we began our work. As we walked toward our destination, I thought about this motto, “Whate’er Thou Art, Act Well Thy Part,” and took it as a direct message to me, and I said to myself, or the Spirit said to me, “You are a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints; more than that–you are here in the Mission Field as a representative of the Church, and you are to act well your part as a missionary, and you should get into the work with all your heart.” I then said to Jack Dempsey: “I congratulate you as a man who has acted well your part–one who has brought honor to your profession.”
Do you get the message?  We do not always get to choose our parts, but we always have the capacity to act those parts well.  If you ever think your part is less valuable or less valued than that of someone else, remember the words of St. Paul:  “Those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness.” Act well the part you have been given, do so with grace and dignity, and you will be a winner on the only scorecard that counts.”

And, might I ad. AMEN. (& hallelujah!) -Kate

This political/religious tension is no small struggle for me in maintaining activity in the church. Not only that but I feel the mentality of conservatism = truth in the church has also cost me a more intimate relationship with my brother. He is an amazing man who is always trying to do right, but in doing right I feel he often believes he needs to condemn my actions since he does not believe I am being faithful to the gospel “truths”. I try and bear my testimony to him when I can (as shaky as it is), but I do have one.

I wish I could share a humble and sincere testimony to all those out there who doubt the intentions of struggling liberals. Even if I am wrong, and somehow my liberal interpretation of the gospel is totally blasphemous, I would at least like my brothers and sisters of the church to understand my sincere intentions. My struggle in this world day and night, this political struggle, is because of my love for my fellow human and my utter love for God.

I would like to bear testimony that I do believe in a God and that I believe he loves us.

I wish I could share that testimony to more than those in my congregation. Sometimes I feel some members forget that key of solidarity in the church–our related testimony of our savior. How can we exclude our brothers and sisters in an awareness of that? I don’t know if a section of posts dedicated to the written testimonies of those supporting Mormon May Day would be appropriate or not, but…I definitely would find such a comfort and believe it would be a catalyst for understanding, especially for those who will inevitably learn of Mormon May Day and denounce it. If those prone to exclusion could only hear that our voice is not so dissimilar to theirs (even though I suppose we should all probably still have charity for every voice, even if it isn’t similar).

Really this is not an us and/or them issue…the church is an us. God’s children who decided to come to earth and struggle through this eternal test is an us. If only we could remember this: to become one of mind and heart…well… at least one of heart for starters.

I don’t see how you can watch this beautiful film and not see the need for social justice. Impossible.

What an not-of-this-world example of charity this amazing couple is who take care of these children.

We are all blessed to know of them.

We are all bound to follow their example.

“Today you are you!
That is truer than true!
There is no one alive
who is you-er than you!
Shout loud, “I am lucky
to be what I am!
Thank goodness I’m not
just a clam or a ham
Or a dusty old jar of
sour gooseberry jam!
I am what I am! That’s a
great thing to be!
If I say so myself,
HAPPY EVERY-DAY TO ME!” — Dr. Seuss

Today in church one particular testimony stood out to me. It wasn’t what the speaker said, it was the way she presented herself. She was so confident. She was un-apologetically happy, and so clearly felt that she had a safe space and place in the church at that podium this morning. She beamed as she shared her thoughts with us.

I think what struck me about her were the obvious assumptions she had made while taking her place in front of us.

• She assumed that we would listen.
• She assumed that we could care.
• She assumed that her message would be welcome.
• She assumed that she had something of value for the community to communicate.
• She assumed that God values her voice and worship.

As a radical Mormon, a lot of the assumptions I make about church are the opposite. I think a great deal (certainly not all) of the discomfort I feel in church settings is due to the assumptions I am making about other congregants. Their reactions, their biases, their feelings. When I have spoken up, I have often been reinforced by others who have felt the same way & who feel lonely, afraid or weary.

I hope I can begin to make different assumptions, and be glad to be who I am (not a dusty old jar of sour gooseberry jam!). I hope I can be filled with more joy about what I have to offer. I hope my renewed faith in others will be well placed and I will be well received for who I am and what I have to contribute.

Amen.

(& hallelujah)

I’d like this blog to be a place for everyone to be able to post thoughts, testimonies, articles, photos etc.

Let me know if you’d like to submit anything here.

Onward and upward,

Kate